I wish I had the talent for it. I struggle to make a small comment that flows nicely,most of the time it will have awkward stops and different ideas just threw after the other. I'd love to have talent for drawing,painting,singing,etc but I can't do any of those things.
They're all things that could benefit from my depression and daydreams,so there would be a good side of them. And having any of those skills would make me a more interesting person. I feel that even if I were to be happy and everything there would be no reason for people to be friends with me.
Maybe I just can't remember what is like to have a actual personality. I don't even know what is like to go out with friends as a teenager,go to a part as a teenager,etc. Who knows how it will be like as a young adult? I just find it hard to believe that one day I might be in good terms with my body.
I try to picture myself at full time,post laser,SRS,etc and even after all of that certain things in my body will never change,like my hand and feet,they will always be super masculine looking. I can't see myself feeling comfortable around women or scrawny men,it will probably highlight my own features. I'll always have to make sure any guy I might date have larger hand and feet than me,and that sucks.
Oh,I had a test but it seemed easy. I almost threw a fit at a class,the teacher was late and I'm already not a huge fan of him,I can't stand him so every new shit he pulls it just to add to the list. It's been so long since I felt that angry at someone,I was about to do something stupid. I already said this,but I just wish I'd snap already.
I'm feeling a little dizzy,my left hand hurts a little. I'm terrified of developing a bad posture and then being too late when I try to fix it. I have tons of things to do for college.