Thoughts

I've mentioned that I started to have suicidal thoughts lately,but un/fortunately I'm too scared to do it. As ridiculous as it sounds,I feel trying to do it would be the only way for my family to take me serious and drop the "go out,talk to people,etc" argument. Like I also said before I feel taking a break from my routine in a mental hospital could be good,but I don't want to miss college,in a few months the school year will end and I'll be in my summer vacations.

I had really bad anxiety today at class,I had to go to the bathroom and stay there a while. I'm slightly over my ideal weight,and I was wearing only a shirt(no hoodie as usual) because it was hot,maybe that's why. I'm not over-thinking the aging thing,even after time passing being mentioned in a class and bumping into a online discussion about turning 30.

This week will be pretty uneventful,except for this class with this shitty software I can barely use. My first work for this class was super shitty,I uploaded it in the lowest possible quality. Next will have to do something even more complicated,but I'll have to work my ass off to make up for the first one.

My hair is falling badly,the scalp is super visible if I part my hair in the middle. And the skin in my chest looks red almost all the time,I hate it. It looks old lady-ish. And my skin overall is super dry,patches of scaly skin and all.