Feeling like crap. When I stop to think about my future I honestly cannot see a good thing,even if I transition. I'll never be able to function near other people,I'll always be the awkward loner with a shitty job,no personality and no life. The only good futures I can see are imaginary,where I was born female,or where better looking and would have a very successful transition at a younger age.
I've been building up some confidence by looking at myself in the mirror. I can see how I might look great after HRT does it's work on my face. But then when I try to take a picture of myself I look awful. I look bloated,my jaw area look award,my mouth looks weird and my nose looks gigantic and crooked. And even my eyes,pretty much the only features I really like,look pretty but dead.
And it's so weird because my identical twin is good looking,so how come I'm so ugly? I could look so good if I had started hormones before,my shoulders and chest were no so wide,I'd develop hips,etc. And things will only get worse as I get older,my face will get wrinkles,my nose will get larger,my cheeks will start to fall,etc.
I got this grammar test yesterday. One of the few good things in my life is the weekend,and now I'm loosing that now tomorrow. I'm so tired,I'm getting fed up of feeling like shit everyday.