I had very strong thoughts of suicide this Tuesday. All I wanted at that moment was to be dead,I don't think I ever felt so intensely about it before,it was scary. The rest of the time I feel so stressed,every little things bothers me,I feel like yelling and breaking things. I daydream about lashing out on people. I'm not sure how long until I actually end up freaking out,specially in public.
I wish I could sleep and be in a constant lucid dream,making up realities and switching between them once I got bored. It really kills me that no matter I wish for different lives I'll never really live them and will always be stuck with my boring one.