quinta-feira, 28 de abril de 2011

Clothing style

Well,my clothing style is casual,I like to wear jeans and tshirt,but quality ones,usually from Zara or Hering,but I always check more feminine things in clothings stores just to imagine what I would wear beside jeans and tshirt(you know,when I wanted to be more feminine if I was born a girl),so the virtual store is pretty good to me,but even as a girl I would wear jeans and tshirt most of the time
I dont know if I should post about myself that much,but maybe I delete it latter...
So,Still not out...Royal Wedding tomorrow^^ I'm going to watch it

sexta-feira, 22 de abril de 2011


I didn't came out in the "perfect day" because I don't want to ruin my family's easter somehow(I'm atheist,my family is catholic and I don't mind celebrating easter and christmas,but it have a different meaning for me and for my family,but they don't know it)
So I'm thinking of coming out next week,I think about it all the time,I try to show myself that if I wait to long I will never pass,that I will lose my not-so-masculine appearence,lose my youth and don't have the friends I want(a guy and a girl from my school,they are very nice and fun,I wish I could be their friend,but I feel so shy.I made a anonymous formspring account to know them better,and I want to talk to them so hard.They are very good-looking,fun and friendly)I imagined how I would start to talk to them in the beggining of last year,when I changed to their school.
Ah,I just want to be me,and hurry.But the fear is too big...

segunda-feira, 18 de abril de 2011

Tomorrow may be a perfect day

Tomorrow after school I'm going to a university with the school(they are going to show some parts of it)it going to begin at 1:00 pm and end at 5:00pm,so it may be a good opportunity to let the letter to my parents read in the morning,but they work in the afternoon but I think that maybe it works fine.
I hope actually do it this time,but I'm afraid at the same time...

sábado, 16 de abril de 2011

The name of the blog

Wow,a lot of views if compared with the other days
So,the blog's name is based in the "Damsel in distress",I tried to show in a (what I think it is) creative way that is a transsexual blog,and that I'm a feminist(against the damsel that need to be saved thing)
stupid,right?i know...
That's it,and I didn't came out again,I'm trying to do it but I feel that maybe is not going to worth it

About showing a picture

When i started to think about making a blog,i started to question if it was going to be a good idea,because i dont know if i could handle the idea of videos of myself forever in the internet.So i started to wanting to make a blog,and i did.But now i think if is a good idea to put a picture in my profile or something(after hrt) to show how i am,but maybe someone that i know find the picture and a lot of things can happen,like people that didn't need to know that i'm trans.
Maybe i do a post describing myself lather

quarta-feira, 13 de abril de 2011

Didn't Came Out :(

I know that it sucks,but in tuesday i got sick and i didn't went to school,so i couldn't let the letter in a place that my parents would find,and today I forgot to do it...I'm going to give them the letter tomorrow i hope...I'm very depressed(started last year,when I changed to a new and bigger school),i feel so wrong in my body,it was always in my mind that i should be a girl but last year was that time where i couldn't handle it anymore...i'm having a hard time trying to have friends cuz i feel stupid in the way i look(i just talk to people when they talk to me)at least people just think im shy,and since im kinda androgynous in my manners people dont think i'm gay or trans,and i don't get bullied.But the only person who think is my friend is a weird and annoying guy,and i cant tell him that i dont want to be his friend cuz i feel a bit bad for him,but i try to ignore him when he start to get retarded.
I think that it is all for today,i hope i can come out tomorrow and start therapy and hormones as soon as i can,cuz im starting to feel that my beard is growing in the side(not too much,very little but i can see it,mostly because i dont want it)

terça-feira, 12 de abril de 2011

Talking with my brother and Movies to Watch

Yesterday my brother(he is my identical twin) and I started to talk about my feelings as transexual,and I'm kinda happy with the talk we had,because it seems now that he is accepting the fact that i have this feelings with my self,and we talked a lot if compared with the first attempt.He still don't understand it and still don't want to read about it or see movies about it(i wish I had Girl Like Me and Red Without Blue with portuguese subtitles).He told me that he didn't mind if i go through transition,but he fears for our family if i came out now with 15.He fears that our parentes wouldn't allow it or something like that...
The movie I really want to show to my family is Red Without Blue because is the story of identical twins and one of them is transexual,is a really beautiful movie.watch here
Gwen Araujo Story is pretty touching movie too,it worth watching:
-Girl Like Me:Gwen Araujo Story:Here is Part 1,you can find the others in the sugestion bar
-There is also a Law and Order:SVU(I love this series) episode(Fallacy)about a transexual woman,is pretty touching ans sad too(episodes with portuguese subs if you are brazilian like me):Part 1 you can find the others in the sugestion bar
That's it,if you liked those movies/episode comment,and if you know another good transexual movie or tv episode feel free to tell^^
please check my dragon,i want it to be the blog's pet:

segunda-feira, 11 de abril de 2011

Attraction to a Trans is not gay

Many people believe that a guy who have any kind of romantic relationship with a transwoman is gay,but is not.Because the guy treats her as a girl,see her as a girl and want to have a relationship with her like he would have with any other girl.It´s like,he likes her for her looks and/or her appearance,and she happens to be a trans.

domingo, 10 de abril de 2011

My Story

Since I was a little boy,i realized that were something wrong(because i knew i was a boy,if someone asked me I would answer that I was a boy,but i knew that it was something wrong).The toys I liked to play with were the ones wich both boys and girls could play(stuffed animals,plastic people animals,figures of television and movies,dinosaurs)I played with dolls once and I didn't find that fun,but I secretly wanted to have ponies and a barbie.I never wanted super girly clothes(but didn't like very masculine ones,but  now,sometimes o do think of  dressing more feminine and wearing make up in special occasions),nor a girly bedroom,girly backpack and make up.
Every night I would pray to wake up as a girl in the next morning,or wait to see in the news that some girls were born as boys,and only needed to take some pills to be a girl(I didn't knew about hrt back then).Time passed and I started to think that I was gay and that it was normal to having that feeling of wanting to be a girl,and before sleep or in anytime of the day i would imagine how my day and life would be like as a girl.
Puberty came,and I became more depressed(I was a happy kid) and more shy.I never had problems with my genitalia,I never hated it,but i started to hate my body,now with hair growing,larger hand and feet and a more masculine shape,it was my worst nightmare coming true.
Transexual stories in the internet or tv caught my attention,and i started to search about coming out and about other tgirls in the middle of 2010.I found some great websites,like http://www.tsroadmap.com  and http://www.secondtype.info/index.html . I found some great youtube channels too(they are in the end of the page)
who really helped me understanding more about it,and giving me hope,and i realized that i could do that to,that i could be myself.I started to thinking about coming out and i still didn't,but I'm planning on sending a letter to my parents in this Monday.If i do it,I'm going to post about coming out.
Sorry for three posts in the same day^^

Why not a Vlog

Even with a youtube account and two videos,I didn't want to make a vlog,because I'm not very good at talking to a camera and i don't feel very good about having me in the internet to everyone who want to see(or want to hurt me)but in a blog i have more privacy I guess.
You can check my youtube videos and know more about me in my favorite videos and subs


I've been thinking of making a blog about my transition(even though i didn't started it)because i wanted to share my experiences(that i will gain).So,this is the place were I'm going to do it,and I'm going to write about some trans subjects and maybe other things too.
I hope you guys will enjoy it