How Therapy Was

Hi
I had therapy today,started at 3:00pm and ended at 4:00 something.It was kinda awkward because I'm shy and never had any type of therapy.The therapist Is pretty nice,but she never had treated anyone with gender dysphoria.We talked about my childhood,turning into teen,friends,family,feelings with my body and sexuality.
She will talk with my family and my father said that she will send me to a specialist in gender,but I don't want to have to wait too much with therapy(I will say this to her next friday)
Bye

Didn't Start Therapy Yet

I'm going to try to e-mail a lgbt group that work in my city,maybe they can help me find a therapist in case my father take to long to find one

My Mother's Fear

I kinda understand my mother denial about the fact that I'm transsexual.She is afraid that I will never get a decent job,that I will be made fun of all the time,that I will be alone for the rest of my life,ugly,fat,and she thinks that I will be super girly(when I said that will be easier to talk to people when I will feel better about me,she imitated a flamboyant and very girliysh girl)and today when we saw a pretty un-classy lady,with drag-like make up and very fake hair color,my brother said that she looked like a tranny,and my mother said something of me wanting to be transsexual.She believe that I will look like that,I hope I can explain to her that I will not change who I am,just my appearance.
Bye^^

My Parents Reaction and Talk

 

Hi
My father called my brother and I,showed the letter and started talking.He says
that he wants to help me,wants me to be happy and want to go to therapy together.My mother said some really mean things,and showed that doesn't know nothing about being transsexual,wants me to go to church,pray and live as a guy(or at least gay),that I think turning into a woman is "cool" because of the media and Internet,thinks I'm too young,that all transwomen are prostitute or have bad jobs,that I will regret,that I never showed nothing that would make her think that I'm trans(she thinks I would need to be super girlish or something,and didn't want to read anything about transsexualism.Them both think I've been a little manipulated by the people I talk in the Internet,and I tried to explain that is not like that.
They don't want me to talk to these people,but I will still do that,and I hope that the therapist will help them to understand.
It surprised me that my father was calm and my mother was the mean one.After the talk she is treating me the loving way as always.I made a list of questions and points to give to the therapist,one of them is to not have two many months to therapy,because I don't want to get super manly at 18,then transition will be pointless.
Can't wait to therapy next week(at least my father said)
Bye

I Came Out

This morning,I was thinking with myself "It's the end of the year already,and this was supposed to be the year were I would come out and start transitioning."
Thinking of that,I got the letter(my parents was looking for a remote control in my room and almost found it)put it on the table with a pink crocodile pin(the ones for food bags)so it would draw attention.I was not thinking at that point,I just did what I had too.
At school,I was anxious.Sometimes,I would think "I did it?I let the letter for them to read?am I dreaming?".
When I got in the car to go to lunch,my mother(who is a happy talkative person)was kinda sad and quiet,but still loving(asked about school,gave me a little massage on my hair,etc).
At the letter I wrote that my parents should wait until them both were at home,so she didn't said anything about(she is right next to me).I also said that I don't believe in God anymore in the letter,and now she asked if I pray before sleep in a very calm way.
I can't wait for tonight,maybe my parents will talk to me about it.My brother doesn't know that I did it.
Bye

Crossdressed in front of my mother

So,I got a new haircut since last week.Its kinda weird,because it looks like a bit like this image above(Remus Farseer from Guin Saga).but only in the front.But is messy(its very lightly wavy).If I brush it it looks straight.So,I started to let it brushed for fun at home,because it looks really funny.Today when I did that(just some minutes ago)I wore a scarf,my mothers glasses and her jacket.She and my brother laughed a lot.I have to admid that I looked funny,but cute^^
She said that my father would be mad to see me like that.I believe so.
Bye

My Mother

Hi
So,in the last few years I've been noticing that my mother,in a friendly and not threatening way,that she have two sons,that are men and are going to date woman.
She says that in a friendly way and sometimes in random occasions(at least she doesn't say that too much,very few times).For me it looks like she really want a good future to me,but unfortunately,is not the future I want to myself.
Yesterday I said that it annoys me when she says that,and she didn't understood why(I didn't said why).
Should I wait till she says that again and talk to her(and then come out)?
Yesterday she also said that she wish to be born a man in her next live(of course,a joke because of period and stuff),and I almost said that if she wanted we could trade our "parts" XD
I should have said something....
Bye^^
EDIT__________
good news:http://tinyurl.com/3s7fnmn