Merry late christmas and happy new year to all. No progress in transition,I hate the feeling that I have no support from my family :/

:(

Update

Tons of things to do for college,and jesslyn's new youtube channel is up,no progress transition-wise.

Updates :(

My favorite trans vlogger Jesslyngirl87 closed her youtube account today,her videos gave me so much inspiration. I saw a lot of account with just a goodbye videos when I first started to watch vlogs,the girls end this chapter of their lives to start a new one,I admire that. I feel sad for her to leave the vlogs,she will make a new channel for her music,but I'm also happy that she's happy and living her life the way she wants to,as herself.

Now,about my personal life,is sucky. I'm trying to get the courage to talk about my parents again. I'm turning 18 this year,and my father said something along the lines of "study hard,get a job and then you can do anything you like"...I mean,I want their support,and their help. If I am to pay everything for myself,I would not start treatment soon,laser will be too expensive...

I'm in college now,I was supposed to have fun,and it's sucks that there are times I think that everything would be better if only I were a girl,physically.

Roupas que eu pretendo usar

Fiza aqui um muralzinho com as roupas que eu pretendo usar,um estilo casual,basico mas com um toque suave de feminilidade e romantismo. Nao inclui as coisas mais basicas como moletom,camiseta mais simples,etc.

New Year already

High School is over,and as you know,I'm very depressed about it,all the missed opportunities and the fact I'll still miss it.Like I said,I got into a university,but is a paid one.It's a great uni,but not the best,the best being free.I wanted to do a preparatory course,which would be the last year,only without grades,focusing on studying hard for the best college's SATs.

My mother say it would be a waste of a year,my father says I should try the first month out and then if I still wanted to,drop out and prepare for the SATs.There is still a chance of failing,one of my teachers said I'm still young,I can try out this year,and if I fail,do the SAT of the college I got into this year again and study there.

I want to try,but it won't be the same.It will not be the actual school year,many people that I got used to see,some since 2010,will not be there.Like I said,it's the same school,but in a different location.

I'm very depressed,I'll start classes on February 2,sadly,so my time to rest is almost over.I made no progress talking to that girl I want to be friends with,neither with talking about my feelings with my parents.Oh,and my father says he is still looking for a therapist,non GT,of course.

Update Time/Happy Christmas

                   FELIZ NATAL

When shopping three days in a row for Christmas.I'm feeling good,until I get to see my full body reflection on a mirror,that makes me feel like crap.I can daydream almost the whole day that I'm actually female and such,almost like an illusionary layer,but the minute I see myself,the truth comes out,I realize that I'm still male.

High school is officially over.Great,just threw 3 years that I was supposed to had great times and make friends for a life time in the thrash can.I want to do the third year again,but as preparation to get into the best college.The one I got is great,but is paid and not as good as the other one,which is free.My mother wants me to do the one I got in,she says a it would be a waste of waste of a year to do the year again,even though lots of students do that.

I keep throwing away my time daydreaming,mostly about crushes,being one of my teacher and the guy from since the first year of high school.I keep thinking to myself how to describe them,specially the guy my age,to people know he is indeed a amazing guy,smart,funny,down to earth,etc.Even I'd never show a picture of him or tell his name to online friends,because I think it would be mean.

I will travel for Christmas,to my father's siblings as usual.I wanted to stay at home.So,in advance,Happy Christmas to you all,my lovely readers.

Hugs.