Sorry

 Sorry for not posting much,and when I post is dumb,unrelated crap.Like I said in older posts,no transition until I'm 18 or my parents change mind.

Just a quick post,Hugs.

If I could sing...

• Dark Waltz
• The Prayer
• Summer Fly
• My Heart Belongs To You
• Wuthering Heights
• Over The Rainbow
• Summer Rain
• Abide With Me
• Time To Say Goodbye
• Both Sides Now
• Dell'amore non si sa

• May It Be
• Siuil A Run
• Lascia Chi'o Pianga
• You Raise Me Up
• Scarborough Fair
• Nella Fantasia
• The Last Rose of Summer
• She Moves Through The Fair
• You'll Never Walk Alone
• The Water is Wide
• 
  

• Wave
• Pela Luz dos Olhos Teus
• Garota de Ipanema
• Devolva-me
• Num Corpo So
• Aguas de Marco
• Bachianas Brasileira N.5
• Cara Valente
• Encontros e Despedidas
• Aquarela do Brasil
• Insensatez
• O Barquinho
• Meu Mundo Caiu

• Mana Mou Ta Louloudia Mou
• Anthismeni Amigdala
• I Varka Gyrise Mon
• Guns of Navarone
• I Feel Pretty
• If My Friends Could See Me Now
• Sound of Music
• Edelweiss

Travel List

EUROPE TRAVEL-PLACES TO GO

Scotland(Glasgow)
Ireland(Dublin)
England(London,Painswick)

France(Paris,Colmar) 
Germany(Quedlinburg,Rothenburg)

Austria(Salzburg,Vienna) 

Switzerland(Zurich,Bern,Murren)
Italy(Rome) 

Greece(Athens,etc)

  

See you all when I'm 18

Today after class(yes,I have a extra class on Saturday and Monday) I went to the mall with my family.It started with my mother forcing me to wear shorts.I have to wear them ever since my legs started to get really hairy,and she still forces me to do it.Also,I could not wear a hoodie or jacket because it's too hot,so I felt really unconformable.
 We ate first in a nice restaurant,I really liked the food.My brother and I went to the bookstore while my parents went see things for the house.Some time later we found them in the bookstore,and they started to show books to us.One was about lacking D vitamin caused depression,like it would make me happier out of sudden.Proceding,my father found a drawing tutorial book for kids,and showed me,I took a quick look at it,I was pretty much sad/bored since we left the house.He then flipped for me being emotionless,and then we left.
 At the car,he and my mother started to argue on many things,with me being of course,the one who caused all of this.He started talking about how I only got worst after coming out,that I needed to change for whatever I wanted to do.My mother said I talk to frustrated people online,that me being like this must be a curse or punishment,that she should have become a whore instead of being a respectful woman,that I was raised right and some kids are not and turn into normal men,and kept denying I have any problem,and that I'm too shy to do something so radical,that I'll be deformed.My father then made sounds like of a mentally retarded,trying to imitate how I am all the time.He said that he tried helping me with a therapist(non GT) and that I need lots and lots of physiological tests with a trustful therapist,not a biased one(it's how he refers GT,and when I found one he did not wanted me to do therapy with her).He agrees I have a problem,but that is complicated and not even I understand,but gladly he knows is not something I choose.He kept saying hormones,silicon,surgery will not be my saviors,he just don't get it.
 Apparently there's no way to convince them I'm not mentally handicapped,that being transsexual is not all of that they think it is,they think they own the truth on very single subject,not only in gender identity.If I get the so called therapist my father said that he still is looking for,is not going to be GT.I'm not sure either if I will still be browsing any trans-related website,sure they give me hope,but after today I'm all alone with transition,and I will probably get really un-passable when I'm 18.I just wish I could have my dream live,living as myself,with friends,getting into a nice college in design course,finding a nice job,moving to a apartment designed how I like,traveling around Europe and Japan,but it probably will not happen,not with me hating myself.

Quanto aos comentários em relação a noticia de Luma Andrade

 Hoje eu achei um artigo na pagina do Globo.com sobre a professora transsexual Luma Andrade,sendo a primeira mulher transsexual doutora do Brasil.Me assustei com a ignorância tipica dos comentários desse site.Falta a educação básica do respeito nas casas brasileiras.
 Pessoas sem nenhum nível de respeito ao próximo,que fazem ameaças de morte,usam nomes maldosos para se referir a outro ser humano, que por ser diferente,parece merecer tudo de pior,ate sendo comparado a um assassino ou pedófilo.É comum não saber muito sobre transsexualidade,quando não se faz parte do grupo,mas não é correto criar pré conceitos sobre pessoas que passam por situações difíceis,muitas vezes sem apoio nenhum.Claro,é mesmo complicado entender como que alguém,nascido de um sexo,sente como se fosse do outro,mas não é por isso que merecem tanta hostilidade.
 Apesar do que a maioria das pessoas pensa,uma pessoa não acorda querendo ser de outro sexo,nem quer "mudar de sexo" pois se sente excitado por isso.Transsexuais tem todo o tipo de personalidade de sexualidade,existem mulheres transsexuais de personalidade pouco feminina, lésbicas,muito femininas, hétero,bissexuais,etc.O mesmo com os homens transsexuais.A transição leva tempo,é complicada,exaustiva mental e fisicamente,para poder enfim,sentir-se bem consigo mesmo.
 Não que transsexuais mereçam pena,mas apenas respeito. Não precisa achar certo,bonito,apenas respeite,trate uma pessoa transsexual com o respeito que você trataria qualquer outra.Lembre-se de que se for uma mulher transsexual(nascida homem) use os pronomes femininos,e se for um homem transsexual,trate-o com pronomes masculinos.

Eysenck P-E-N Personality Test

Extroversion (sociability)||||||           21%
Neuroticism (emotionality)||||||||||||||||||72%
Psychoticism (rebelliousness)||||       15%

Looking back

 I was watching some videos I loved to watch of T girls on Youtube.I remember how I felt connected to those people,how I wanted to start my journey and live my life like they did.I was so hoping my parents would be understanding,by my logic I would be almost a year on hormones now,my hair would be shoulder length and I would be looking great.Of course,sadly,nothing of this happened to me,I tried not thinking of being transsexual but I can't.I daydream a lot,pretty much all the time.It can be about me being born female,me being great at singing,me coming out at 10 so I would avoid puberty,me as a whole different person and married to Tom Hiddleston(yes,I still like Bradley Cooper).
 I feel sometimes that if I were born a girl,I would be starting to be less tomboy,but not too girlish either,just in between,like most "normal" girls are.My mother everyday complains about being female,she think it will make me change my mind.Both of my parents doesn't understand the urgency of hormones,my mother said something like "Oh why don't you wait me to die before doing such things" or my father saying I need to graduate.I know,it's getting repetitive always complaining about it,but I can't help it,my teen years are ending.Don't get me wrong;drinking,smoking,having sex and party hard are not my ideas of fun,but how I wish I could get like 3 friends come over,get some snacks and just have fun,watch a movie,etc.
 I just envy so much people who are happy with their lives.At the same time,it makes me feel good for them,knowing that not everyone have to be miserable like me

I just needed to do one of my monthly rants on how my life sucks,how I don't have any friends and how I just hate my body to death.