quinta-feira, 20 de junho de 2019

I Still Live

It's that time of the year where I start missing my teenage years, nevermind the fact that was the moment my life went to shit, the beginning of the end. And it makes me remember this blog, I haven't updated in a while so I figure I'd make a quick post.

I do have some life updates, I've started therapy again last year, my parents forced me but I enjoy it, the therapist is kind and friendly unlike the one from the past, and it's been good having her to talk about my issues. It took me some sessions to open up about my identity, I've been mostly working on other things. I've started dental treatment from scratch at the end of last year, I'm very hopeful that this time it will finally work. I started seeing a psychiatrist last month, I saw her briefly and she prescribed me some medicine for depression and anxiety, it's been both good and bad, I'm supposed to see her again soon.

I've lost a lot of weight too which is nice, I'm still not at my target weight but I'm doing great progress towards it. In bad news I'm still severely depressed and unsure about if I'm ever going to transition, lately I've been considering just getting rid of my facial & body hair, taking hormones to become slightly more feminine while presenting as male in public. I'm still addicted to daydreaming, and I keep perfecting my dream life to a point where I'm really pleased with it, my dream self even have a boyfriend now! And my fear of aging keeps getting worse, it becomes more and more evident that I won't be young forever and that scares me.

This is definitely more positive than the past few posts, and overall I do feel a tiny bit better, but I'm a work in progress.

2 comentários:

  1. We are all a work in progress, but in the end the struggle is worth it. Take it from this 70 year young trans woman who took nearly a lifetime to get there. I love my current life and people tell me I look good and much younger than my chronological age. Hang in and keep dreaming.

    1. Thank you for your comment, Paula! That's what I've been trying to be mindful of, that maybe my journey is just a longer one, but I'll get there eventually.